Today's Mind Bender

Breaking News! (and no, it has nothing to do with Hawaii): There is another Spears Baby on the way. YEP - you heard it. Only, it isn't Brittany who is pregnant...its her 16 y/o sister Jamie Lynn Spears.

(Pause)

It isn't as if I am speechless. Au Contra ire...its what to say first.

SHUT UP!! Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!! Please...tell me this isn't a dream.

To all my southern friends out there (oh, wait...I don't know anyone from the south) Sorry for the following comment: You can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out of the girl. Those Spears girls sure know how to make their parents proud...I mean, why even wait until you are of legal drinking age to start reproducing the progeny...after all, the clock's a tick'n. If your going spit out a litter of southern children, you gotta call your cousins early, before they get too pickled to do the deal justice.

Oh, I am not finished. I am an older sister. I have spent my entire life telling my sister not to make the same mistakes I did (she didn't). WTF?! Brittany never pulled her sister aside and said "so here's what I learned about getting knocked up..if you're not trying to PREVENT the big "P", its simply a matter of time before YOUR singing 'oops the Spears girls are fertile again'." I mean, who is the bigger dumb ass here (I THINK I know the answer to that...but right now...its as confusing as its ever been)?
At least Brittany PRETENDED to be a virgin for awhile. Admittedly, once the seal was broken, there was no putting the cork back in THAT bottle, but we thank you, Brittany for your gracious and heroic efforts of waiting until you were of voting age (you waited that long, right?).
Here is my favorite quote about all of this: Jamie Lynn plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana — "so it can have a normal family life." HELLO!!! WAKE UP CALL...apparently, there is NOTHING normal about Louisiana if there are more like the Spears clan down there.

Lynne Spears doesn't understand how this could happen: "She's never late for her curfew."

Now the only question is: when is Grandma Spears gonna show up preggo? I mean, after all, she must have been 16 when she had Brittney, so she has plenty of childbearing years left, right?!!