Madonna Turns 50

Surely you have heard the news: Madonna is 50.

To an entire generation of girls who were somewhere between 10-14 when Madonna first presented herself to us, this seems impossible. I remember watching the material girl writhe around the MTV screen in black lace gloves and jelly bracelets panting "Like A Virgin" and thinking she must be the coolest woman in the world. In a shameful moment of fashion faux-pas and complete lack of my own creativity, I immediately ran to Claire's boutique to get my own. I felt connected to her: she was a Leo. Her birthday only 3 days after mine. Her father was repressive (aren't the fathers of all young teenage girls?!) and she endured the constant chant of Catholism.

Later on, when Madonna crooned about "Isla Bonita" which seemed like the ultimate summer song, in the year before my freshman year, I thought she looked so cool rolling around in the sand, I promised someday, I too, would go to an island and roll around in the sand looking that cool. Well, at least the first part came true. That summer, thanks to "sun-in" I became a blonde too (and rarely have I been anything since).

Those were the days of relative innocence of Madonna. And for much of my generation.

As she became the Material Girl, and then the anti-christ, girls in small towns going to Catholic Schools hid their Madonna albums but could not resist them, not the message or the curiosity of what she would say next. As we moved into college, Madonna "Expressed Herself" in every single way possible, publishing her journey in very public forums, including a very sexy book. Suddenly, empowering yourself as woman in a very complete way, emotional, sexual, social, seemed nothing to be ashamed of, it seemed possible.
Perhaps its because we were already coming to that conclusion, or perhaps it was because Madonna dared all of society to deny her. Its as if we needed Madonna to show us why Women's liberation was so important, because at the time, we weren't sure why it was so important anymore.

Madonna got married, but she didn't settle down. She was the "Ray of Light" showing women all around the world how to do it all: be a Mom, a Wife and a breadwinner. She lifted and posed and strutted and remained timely and relevant.

In a way, Madonna is more like my generation than her own. We grew and evolved as she did. We chased her down a path of boundry testing, exploration and maturity. We watched with awe as she showed us how to MAKE the rules, rather than break them.

As terrified as our parents were of Madonna, in the end, she wasn't responsible for any of our problems, if we had them, they were ours. Madonna would be the first to tell you that you have to sleep in the bed you didn't make that morning. And in the end, time got an icon that won't be soon forgotten. She will be remembered for the way she pranced over convention, showed women what a "voice" was and laughed and learned the entire time. And honestly, her outrageousness doesn't seem so dangerous anymore does it?

Each in our own way, we should be so lucky to make a difference, if only on the lives of our daughters. Maybe by the time I have daughters that are 14, they will find that Retro Madonna chick cool and I will get to re-live it all over again.

Newstainment 2008

Well, if you haven't been watching the cable news channels, because of the now "official" Presidential campaign, you are probably destined to do so now. Because of our time difference, we get the "normal" post-work news analysis starting around 1pm. We obviously don't catch much of it. But by 6pm HST, its midnight EST and the quality of news is pretty pathetic, but local news is worse, and we now into reruns on most channels..thus we watch. Jeff calls it "Newstainment" - frankly, its a little sad. First of all, not everyone can be Jon Stewart. Second of all, if you are on MSNBC or CNN, you should not even try.

Let me give you my totally biased run-down on what's available in the Newstainment category.

MSNBC

Countdown with Kieth Oberman

I happen to like Kieth Oberman - but let's be clear, its his show that kicks off the on screen graphic and quick "ESPN-esque" commentary. I mean - the man throws a wadded up piece of paper at the screen each night and the TV "shatters". Its every 12 year old boy's own TV show and Keith Oberman is going to make the most of it, damn it. He even has a countdown that feels eerily similar to David Letterman. Stay tuned for more political commentary from your favorite graphics fanantic, Keith Oberman. He'll probably roll out some real doozies for the Presidential Campaign.

Up late with Dan Abrams

First all, how did this guy go from being a court room analyst on prime-time, to having his own show in the wee-hours (midnight EST)? Who did he piss off?! At this point in the evening, we no longer simply have news scrolling across the bottom of the screen - oh, no - a full 1/3rd of the screen is jammed up with the show's title, the topic, the unchanging updates regarding who has the most delegates (is THIS neccessary?! It isn't even NEWS 6 hours after the polls in SD closed and the Super Delegates have spoken). And to highlight how much the execs at MSNBC hate him: he has a jazz band, a REAL jazz band, as in Jay Leno, that starts before he finishes talking. AND - to further his humilation - his panelists have no respect for him either. Tonight's show had a "Democratic Strategist" (read: unemployed wonkette) who had on black eyeliner, a leather jacket+T-shirt. Jeff said she looked like a Vegas stripper...SHE DID! I mean, I think she looked like a Vegas stripper with clothes on...if you can wrap your brain around that visual. ANYWHO - the OTHER woman (I didn't see her title, there wasn't enough room on the screen), she wore a gold necklace that looked like a SM Dog Collar. An expensive one, but I was kind of wondering where she was headed after this "after hours" gig.

CNN

I must admit - I had to turn off CNN earlier today. I mean, yah, I feel for the guy that has to talk for 6 hours straight, but he doesn't have to make UP the news - he just has to read it. However, the early morning guy is such a bobble-headed idiot, I can no longer even have a cup of coffee with him in the morning. He NEVER, NEVER asks a smart question. He says things like "yah, uh, huh, I planted a tree this weekend too" I mean, I wish he would just shut up - I don't care about his weekend plans or his incredibly stupid commentary about the benefits of planting a tree on the environment or whether it will actually produce any oranges. I did wonder however, why he chose to plant an orange tree when he lives in the PEACH state? Do you think he maybe missed the connection? On this show - they use alot of props. That is their ratings boost technique.

Later on in the day at CNN:

Anderson Cooper360

Here we have the ultimate news biscuit. This guy got a job because he is a babe and can wear an Armani suit while standing in New Orleans reporting on Katrina without looking smug. (Ironically though, the intro into "360" shows him in out door gear looking very much in control of his Ipod earphones). But as much as I like him - and ooooh, do I Eva! - I have to ask WHY he is asking questions like "Is this even news?!" to his panelist. I want to scream "DIPSHIT, if it wasn't SOMEBODY'S idea of news, you would be out of a job!!" Again, we didn't ask you to MAKE the news, just talk about it.

Larry King

I do not like Larry King. At all. HOWEVER - to his credit, he doesn't have any flashy graphics or pretend to be the news analyst. Which begs the question: why is he on a news channel? I mean they replayed that American Idol Winners and Talent show at least 50 times. That, my friends is the final word in Newstainment.

Now you know, you have a couple of choices. I suggest easing into it and starting with Anderson Cooper. At least while you scratch your head and wonder about whether "this is even news?" your eyes can rest on all the gloriousness of the hottest man in Newstainment.

A New Election...A New America?

This is a really exciting time in the United States...its that time in the election cycle where the American voters are wooed...its like being young and single again..."OH! Who shall I choose?!" And just like those first few weeks of dating, we only see the good sides of the candidates. For the first time in my memory, there is a chance, that both the Republicans and the Democrats will go to the caucus without a forgone conclusion of the nominee.

And yet, there is something really different about this election. While the field is full of white men, I'm proud to be living in the time where there is a man of color and a woman running..there is also a Mormon and a former POW. I mean, what a fascinating group of people..do yourself a favor and WIKI your favorite candidate...all of these people have moved through life without a single moment's doubt that America is the place where their dreams can come true. One of the candidate's daughter is keeping a blog (mccainbloggette.com) and its exactly the blog you would expect from a 20 y/o (on her best behavior).

I have to say - THANK GOD. We're showing the world that we, as American's can at least entertain the thought of change. Every time I talk with people from another country (which is somewhat frequently) somewhere in the back of their minds...you know they are thinking: "is this one of the people who voted that idiot into office?". Perhaps in the near future, people will be meeting those of us from the States and SAYING "your President is amazing..."

Its going to be a fascinating year...and I hope an even more fascinating 4 years after that.

We can only hope.

Today's Mind Bender

Breaking News! (and no, it has nothing to do with Hawaii): There is another Spears Baby on the way. YEP - you heard it. Only, it isn't Brittany who is pregnant...its her 16 y/o sister Jamie Lynn Spears.

(Pause)

It isn't as if I am speechless. Au Contra ire...its what to say first.

SHUT UP!! Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!! Please...tell me this isn't a dream.

To all my southern friends out there (oh, wait...I don't know anyone from the south) Sorry for the following comment: You can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out of the girl. Those Spears girls sure know how to make their parents proud...I mean, why even wait until you are of legal drinking age to start reproducing the progeny...after all, the clock's a tick'n. If your going spit out a litter of southern children, you gotta call your cousins early, before they get too pickled to do the deal justice.

Oh, I am not finished. I am an older sister. I have spent my entire life telling my sister not to make the same mistakes I did (she didn't). WTF?! Brittany never pulled her sister aside and said "so here's what I learned about getting knocked up..if you're not trying to PREVENT the big "P", its simply a matter of time before YOUR singing 'oops the Spears girls are fertile again'." I mean, who is the bigger dumb ass here (I THINK I know the answer to that...but right now...its as confusing as its ever been)?
At least Brittany PRETENDED to be a virgin for awhile. Admittedly, once the seal was broken, there was no putting the cork back in THAT bottle, but we thank you, Brittany for your gracious and heroic efforts of waiting until you were of voting age (you waited that long, right?).
Here is my favorite quote about all of this: Jamie Lynn plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana — "so it can have a normal family life." HELLO!!! WAKE UP CALL...apparently, there is NOTHING normal about Louisiana if there are more like the Spears clan down there.

Lynne Spears doesn't understand how this could happen: "She's never late for her curfew."

Now the only question is: when is Grandma Spears gonna show up preggo? I mean, after all, she must have been 16 when she had Brittney, so she has plenty of childbearing years left, right?!!

Shift Happens

Take a close look at your life...it's constant changes....when you think that there is more going on than ever before - YOUR RIGHT.
Scott Mcleod puts it into perspective in an insightful and beautiful way. Enjoy.

Shift Happens.

ROCK the Vote

Hopefully you voted today...KNOCK ON WOOD that lots of people did. If you ever thought your vote didn't count, this election is the one where you will see your vote hard at work.

Virtually all the states had propositions ranging from Gay Marriage and Domestic Benefits, to legalization of Marijuna (while further criminalizing smoking, by the way) and because the Supreme Court voiced its opinion on eminent domain - lots of states had propositions on that issue....its truly an exciting time to be voting. Honest to GOD, I say that without a twinge of irony...this is the stuff of our day-to-day lives, people..it is why your vote counts...and making your vote count 20X over is why it is so important to vote your beliefs for House and Senate representatives. I hate to get on my soap box, but honest to god, when you wear your "I voted" sticker and people say "Oh?! Was there an election today?" It really makes you want to just poke yourself in the neck with an extremely sharp object.

Arizona had some highlights: we voted on a proposition that would entitle all people who vote to participate in a 1Million Dollar Lottery. Its an effort to get people to the polls. I don't really think it will increase voter participation...after all, voting really isn't any harder than buying a lottery ticket, and people STILL don't. In Arizona, we can vote early, by mail-in ballot and we register when we renew our car registration...and people STILL don't vote. Consequently, since I vote for every election in which I am eligible, I voted for it - I'm thinking I might just be a millionaire in my life yet. My odds are WAY better there than at my local convienence store. As for the argument....I know...stupid voters do none of us any good...but I'm still betting that uneducated voters are too lazy to vote. Keep your fingers crossed for me and my million bucks...my next investment step is to go on "Deal or No Deal"...

We also elected a Democrat Governor again. I mean after a couple of Republican crooks, a governor more concerned with balancing her hair-do than the budgte and one who was actually IMPEACHED, we decided to stick once again with this lady-who looks like she might be able to beat the Cardinals at their own game - who balanced our budget and made education a priority (AZ is right up there with Alabama in terms of education), our leader for 4 more years...it didn't make the news where you live because we all knew that even if she got hit by a bus she STILL would have beat "Len "What's His Name" Munsil".

The most disapointing thing about election in AZ this year was two things: the particularly nasty nature of some of the propositions (hateful and anti-choice), and the especially nasty campaigning (thanks to our incumbents in the Senate (Kyl) and the House (Hayworth) who were apparently feeling the heat. I was also personally disappointed the Senator McCain, who I have greatly admired, bowed to right-wing nuts and endorsed the prop against Domestic Benefits. I can forgive him for endorsing Kyl - I mean, after all, he is considered the front runner for the Republican nominee in '08 - and really, he has to stroke the Republicans until then...but a local prop and a hateful, short-sited one at that...I was personally exceptionally disappointed. I'm a little bummed at how much he is bending under the pressure of right-wingers to get the nomination...I mean, we loved him because he was a MAVERICK. A HERO (military and political). Can we get that McCain back for the next couple of years?

Anyway - Thank local Arizonan Steve Benson's commentary on voting for today's entertaining cartoon. I don't always agree with our local Pulitzer Prize winning editorial cartoonist, but I agree with him here.