America the Great

Well, its that time again. We have an election impending. I LOOOVE election years. Its so exciting, you just never really know what is going to happen. Interesting conversations abound and once again, I get the chance to argue with Adam again over politics (which is'nt at ALL diminished by the phone, BTW.)

Now that the conventions have kicked off - its all ON now! I always watch the conventions-both of them. I love the hoopla, the optimism, the glimmer of hope; I also love listening to impassioned speeches by party leaders and candidates. I am a TOTAL sucker for democracy. I'm almost always struck at the conventions by the people who attend - talk about middle America. These folks are people so excited by a campaign, a cause, an ideology that they take 1/2 of their annual vacation to go sit in a conference center. WOW. But that's what makes this country great. Personally, I just want to go skiing or diving on my next vacation...

Another thing that makes this country great: this year, we have made world history. We have nominated a man of color to be candidate for President. NO OTHER WESTERNIZED COUNTRY HAS DONE THIS. Bill Clinton said it best tonight: "people have always been more impressed with the power of our example, than an example of our power." This is the kind of history you can be proud of. Whatever you think of the candidate, you have to say --its about damn time. I was so proud to be an American today.

I just hope there is a woman president in my lifetime.

I'll watch the Republican convention next week too. Wait until you see the hats that the Republican delegates wear! I am absolutely SURE that I will not see woman in an orange pantsuit walk across the stage. Kind'a makes you wonder how the Republicans can top it, doesn't it?!

See what I mean?! The suspense is killing me.

No matter what you think of one candidate or another - please, please, please vote. Never before has it been more important to vote. Our country is indeed at a crossroads, and if you believe we should turn right, then vote that way - if you think we should turn left, then vote that way....but VOTE. Contribute to what makes this country special: the fact the we VOTE. Even if you want to go skiing on your next vacation..its OK...you can still participate in democracy.

"You Better Get On It - Your Getting Old"

Let me begin this posting by saying I have always believed that age is in the brain more than the body. Celebrating birthday's for me has always meant a celebration of past and future. I look at my birthday as my own personal "New Year's Eve", all to myself. I even set "resolutions" each year on my birthday. Every year, I review my "To Do" list of items that I want to do in my lifetime. I must say, the list gets longer faster than items can be crossed off.

This is why I have never understood people getting sad on their birthday's.

Perhaps this explains my shock at my doctor's statement that if I wanted children, "You Better Get On It - Your Getting OLD." I tried not to kick her when she said it, and I must say my self restraint was admirable and only a function of my increasing maturity (not AGE).

Now, I understand the body and its inherent female limitations. I got it. This isn't news to me, and its not the first time I have considered it. I have had many conversations about this very topic with many friends over the last couple of years. Believe it or not, being called "Old" isn't actually what got me. (although when I shared this story with Jeff, he did ask: "did you have to go to the doctor so close to your birthday?")

What sent me off the deep end, I believe, is the idea that I should have children before I feel mentally ready, simply because my body says so. You can see that this is the antithesis of my personal beliefs about age.

I'm mad. I'm mad that I don't get to have 5 or 6 wonderful years of marriage to my best friend before our lives are changed by children. I am mad that although people are living well into their 90's today, child birth is a requirement in the first 1/3 of life. I'm mad because I don't get to choose when I am ready for this incredible journey, but rather need to take it based on TIME CONSTRAINTS. Nothing seems so ridiculous as making this choice based on age, rather than mental readiness.

Half of my friends blow vodka through their noses when they think of me with kids, and the other half (the half with kids) just say "well, you'll make a good mom" in this meek, unconvincing tone, while secretly thinking to themselves "thank god my kids will be too old to play with hers by the time she has them." So is it any wonder that I TOO have a hard time wrapping my brain about this particular life-changing event. C'mon people, I have barely just gotten over the shock of planning a wedding and getting married. Give me a little time to adjust here.

Anyway - I'm going to see my regular doctor soon too. Think I will find someone who specializes in geriatrics, so I can be the "young pup" of the group.

Madonna Turns 50

Surely you have heard the news: Madonna is 50.

To an entire generation of girls who were somewhere between 10-14 when Madonna first presented herself to us, this seems impossible. I remember watching the material girl writhe around the MTV screen in black lace gloves and jelly bracelets panting "Like A Virgin" and thinking she must be the coolest woman in the world. In a shameful moment of fashion faux-pas and complete lack of my own creativity, I immediately ran to Claire's boutique to get my own. I felt connected to her: she was a Leo. Her birthday only 3 days after mine. Her father was repressive (aren't the fathers of all young teenage girls?!) and she endured the constant chant of Catholism.

Later on, when Madonna crooned about "Isla Bonita" which seemed like the ultimate summer song, in the year before my freshman year, I thought she looked so cool rolling around in the sand, I promised someday, I too, would go to an island and roll around in the sand looking that cool. Well, at least the first part came true. That summer, thanks to "sun-in" I became a blonde too (and rarely have I been anything since).

Those were the days of relative innocence of Madonna. And for much of my generation.

As she became the Material Girl, and then the anti-christ, girls in small towns going to Catholic Schools hid their Madonna albums but could not resist them, not the message or the curiosity of what she would say next. As we moved into college, Madonna "Expressed Herself" in every single way possible, publishing her journey in very public forums, including a very sexy book. Suddenly, empowering yourself as woman in a very complete way, emotional, sexual, social, seemed nothing to be ashamed of, it seemed possible.
Perhaps its because we were already coming to that conclusion, or perhaps it was because Madonna dared all of society to deny her. Its as if we needed Madonna to show us why Women's liberation was so important, because at the time, we weren't sure why it was so important anymore.

Madonna got married, but she didn't settle down. She was the "Ray of Light" showing women all around the world how to do it all: be a Mom, a Wife and a breadwinner. She lifted and posed and strutted and remained timely and relevant.

In a way, Madonna is more like my generation than her own. We grew and evolved as she did. We chased her down a path of boundry testing, exploration and maturity. We watched with awe as she showed us how to MAKE the rules, rather than break them.

As terrified as our parents were of Madonna, in the end, she wasn't responsible for any of our problems, if we had them, they were ours. Madonna would be the first to tell you that you have to sleep in the bed you didn't make that morning. And in the end, time got an icon that won't be soon forgotten. She will be remembered for the way she pranced over convention, showed women what a "voice" was and laughed and learned the entire time. And honestly, her outrageousness doesn't seem so dangerous anymore does it?

Each in our own way, we should be so lucky to make a difference, if only on the lives of our daughters. Maybe by the time I have daughters that are 14, they will find that Retro Madonna chick cool and I will get to re-live it all over again.

Visit by Diane and her girls

What a treat! Diane and her girls stayed with us in mid-August (thus the absence of blogging). Although I have gotten to know Diane, particularly through my wedding where so was such a participant, this was also the first time I have really gotten to know the Diane's girls too. What a treat. Diane's three girls are a pleasure to be around, and such great company. At 14, 11 and 8, they are they type of girls you wished you were cool enough in school to hang around.Well, maybe YOU were, but I sure wasn't.

We had such a great time with them. We took them to the North Shore to see the Turtles; luckily the turtles were there and VERY active! We also went on the Dolphin swim with them. The Dolphin swim is pretty cool, but very pricey for the 30 second dolphin ride, 10 second dolphin kiss and 5 minutes of various interaction. But - at least we can say we've done it, it WAS cool, just not sure its the life changing experience I hoped it would be. Although I kept poking around at all the girls to see who would be willing to fullfill my dream of becoming a marine biologist (since they are actually smart enough to pursue said dream)...but it appears as though none of the three girls were interested in pursuing MY career ambitions for their own. I hiked Diamondhead with them too - Jeff and I hadn't done that yet..so it was pretty cool. Now I understand why people do it - the view is staggering. The walk up isn't as bad as I thought it would be, and its totally unforgetable once you get to the top.

We had a couple of OY VEY moments; perhaps the one that will probably go into the history books is when we all ran outside to get Diane's rental car on the way to the North Shore. We came to a screaching halt when we saw that her car wasn't where we left it...it had been towed. NIIIIIICE. That little situation cost us a couple of hours...and about $200.

Having 3 girls in the house only reaffirmed my personal desire to have girls...although it might have reaffirmed Jeff's desire to have boys. I love the giggling and whispering and sly smiles when they think they have one over on you...I love the insight and wisdom that these ladies showed. I love the eye-rolling, footstomping, "she took my shoes" chaos. I can vividly remember being their age and sometimes, it breaks my heart (14) all over again or reminds me of my own precipice of "tomboyness" and being a girl (11). I feel Sarah's sense of responsibility at being the oldest and see Claire's experience as the youngest through the adult eyes that I wasn't able to see as the older sister to an 8 year old. However, having 6 people in our house only reaffirmed that either we need a bigger house, or less than 4 kids. I am voting for both, BTW.

Having Diane and the girls here on my b-day was also a special treat. They made me cake, dinner and gave me my first birthday gift: girlie goodies for the feet (which is MUCH needed here with the flip-flop wearing, sand walking, volcanic rock street nightmare to the pedicure that Hawaii is).

All in all, it was a great trip - having them here was a blast.

Come one come all, we'd love to have you hear too!!

First Visitors in Hawaii

Well, this week we have our first set of visitors on Oahu. Brian and Lily and their children (two sets of twins, two years apart) vacationed as a family in Waikiki.

We've had the time of our lives with them. If you were at our wedding, you might remember the two youngest, Drew and William who stole the show as ring bearer and flower girl. (That's Drew, youngest girl, Anna and Natalie with Jeff)

This week, also, these four stole the show and our hearts. The great thing about being "Uncle Jeff and Aunt Tara" is that we don't have to discipline, we just have to be fun...and it is our pleasure to do so. We've been to the beach (with boogie boards) and the pool...and the zoo and dinner, and we haven't even done 1/2 of the things they have done! And trust me - we are WIPED!

They have an amazing amount of energy...they just keep going...and going and going. Brian and Lily are great with them, and so relaxed while regularly counting to four (1, 2, 3, 4...yep, all accounted for). I have to give them credit, they are so relaxed and clearly enjoy their kids so much, as they should - they are a total pleasure to be around.

At 4 and 6 (in October) Drew and William, Natalie and Anna (respectively) have total personality and already know that that we adore them. While spending time with them makes me think about having our own..I must admit, that having 4 might be out of my scope of ability...but I'll always enjoy these four. The picture here is Drew (with Jeff), William (with Brian), Natalie (with Lily) and Anna (with me). They are ALL lion-hearted, and we're so glad they let us into their hearts.

While Jeff had known these kids since their birth..this has been my first REAL chance to spend any consistent time with them. I have truly enjoyed getting to know them and really, really look forward to spending more time with them.

Honolulu Life - TRAFFIC

I know you won't feel all that sorry for me, but traffic in Honolulu is awful. It rates as the #1 city in terms of drive time (Phoenix is number 29) and number 38 (Phoenix is number 15) in overall traffic congestion. The reason this is so surprising and to put it in perspective, is because Phoenix, is one of the 5 largest cities in the US - Honolulu tops the charts at number 48. Can you IMAGINE how bad things would be here if there were as many people here as in Phoenix metro area? What makes Honolulu traffic so miserable is a combination of things: 1) one major freeway through Honolulu 2) there is a narrow strip of land between the ocean and the mountains on which to actually drive a car 3) no place to detour due to one way streets and dead-ends.

The infastructure here leaves a little something to be desired and the planning of the actual H-1 was either incredibly late or poorly done. Imagine my surprise at learning I had to turn LEFT to get on the freeway from Waikiki (the first 10 times I drove right past it because it is so poorly marked). Granted, its an older city (older than Phoenix), and yet, it didn't become a state until 1959 (read: no major tax dollars). The truth is, that it is a miracle that modern life can be experienced here at all. The more you realize how much work it takes to live on an island (do you realize that most of our PINEAPPLES are shipped here from Costa Rica now?!), the more you realize that you really have to love it here to make it happen-they call it the "Paradise Tax". Lots of people don't mind paying it, but island living IS a little strange, and that is why there aren't more people in this paradise. I don't think that the previous leaders of Honolulu and the state of Hawaii ever imagined that THIS many people would live here.

Here are some pictures of the 4th biggest bottleneck in Hononlulu. Keep in mind, that this picture was taken on a SATURDAY morning while Jeff and I were sitting (literally, NOT MOVING) in traffic. The first picture is the traffic in front of us, the second is the traffic behind us. You can see that we are on the OFF ramp of the freeway.

Pictures of traffic aren't all that fascinating..so let me leave you with the OTHER picture we took that day, as we were sitting in traffic, that really showcases the ironies of living on an island...a TREE growing out of the side of the freeway.

I guess if the tree can thrive on the SIDE of the freeway, with car exhaust all around, with no dirt and only water the drips down after a rain, that we too can survive the traffic. Afterall, at least I have a place to put down roots.

Aloha!