I'm "Home"

Last weekend marks the anniversary of the weekend we came to Hawaii for our house shopping visit. We've been here almost a year.

When we decided to move, I worried. Worried that keeping in touch with friends and family would be increasingly difficult. I worried that I would miss out on so much in your lives, that it would never be the same.

I worried that poor Jeff would get tired of spending SO much time with me (us both working at home, and not having as many separate social outlets) and that his new wife would suddenly not seem so shiny and new.

I worried that I wouldn't make new friends in Hawaii that "got" me (after all, it takes a brave soul to count me as part of your Entourage). I worried that so much of what was important to me to be wouldn't find me important anymore.

Honestly, it wasn't really "worry" it was fear. I was afraid. I have never been the one to get up and go to another place. I have always lived in the same place as my parents. My friends who moved away always knew where to find me: in Scottsdale. I think I have lived in about 5 zip codes in my entire life...and to move to an island in the middle of the Pacific..suddenly, after we had decided to go, that seemed really, really scary.

Over the last year, however, I have come to appreciate my friends and family more than ever. Even though it means some planning, I talk to so many of you so often. Sometime I talk with you more now than I ever did before! You call me when its too late to call your local friends, you call me on the weekends when you know you might reach me. You leave me messages on Facebook and you keep me in the loop with pictures. Sometimes, you even come to Hawaii and allow me to enjoy my new home through the eyes of people I love.

And indeed, having a life where I rely almost exclusively on my husband for friendship, support and love has made our relationship stronger. We spend more time together than ever before, and I love Jeff's company more than I ever did.

While we don't have lots of friends here in Hawaii, we do have them. Our friends here are good, warm people, who have opened their lives to us with warmth.

I have come to realize that "home" is in my heart. I am very much looking forward to visiting Phoenix next week and catching up with so many of you and giving (and getting) a huge hug...but you are always in my heart. Your smiles, your laughter...everything is already there...and seeing you again in person is the icing on the cake.

I do miss you. And time together is short.

But this holiday season, I am so grateful for my wonderful, loving family and friends who continued to make me feel important, allowed me to still be part of your lives, even from Hawaii. Sometimes, when I am in a funk...I think about you and my heart warms up and a smile comes across my face...and I am ever more grateful for you all.

Love to all.