Its been three years since I had a reason to celebrate Father's Day...but gratefully, the celebration of all things "Daddy" is still with me...for some reason or another this week caught me pulling down the box of items that contains all the cards I received from people when my Dad passed. I kept them because many of them contained amazing wisdom and I felt that by keeping that wisdom with me - it would somehow be contained within me (you decide) but all of the cards contained exceptional kindness. If you sent me a card during that time - its still with me...and I cried as I re-read it this week. Also in the box are the cards that I gave my Dad over the last couple of years (yes, rat-packness runs in the family) which HE kept. There were Father's Day cards, and "just because" cards and truly grateful "thank you" cards. They all said the same thing: I admire you, I love you. And, I still do.
Tonight I went past the house. The house where we were most a family - laughed the most, cried the most, celebrated the most...the house on Helena..its also the house my Dad passed away in. I sat there - I talked with my Dad-I asked him to be thankful for all the beautiful things in my life. I thanked him for his spirit which is still with me. I wished he were here to send me off on the next journey of my life: marriage with my soul mate.
I miss my Dad. Terribly. Everyday. I rejoice that I still miss him. I pick the scab once in awhile to remind myself of my incredible good fortune. My Dad would be proud of my life today. He would say " I never thought it would be any different." But that's the thing: he knew it even when I didn't. He would be proud and excited for me that my future Father-in-Law is a man who I am honored to call "Dad" and would have been thrilled to share that title with a man who so wonderfully deserved such an honorific title. And he would have loved Jeff. He would have known why I love Jeff.
My Dad would have reveled in being a Grandfather..and Piper would have followed in a line of "his ladies" in which his world revolved.
All things beautiful are remembered once a year: love. parents. life. If we are really fortunate, we remember them more than once a year...and we celebrate them when we have them. My good fate has allowed me so much joy in my life, how can I NOT celebrate Father's Day. I hope you will all have the same joy in your hearts on Sunday -whether you are celebrating your father, a father figure or your own fatherhood.
Love,
-T.
2 comments:
Hi there! What a wonderful night to have landed on your blog. I am sure your Father would be very proud of the beautiful (and eloquent)person you have become. I want to congratulate you and Jeff and wish you well with the upcoming Bridezilla festivities!How fun for all of you - I am sure it will be a beautiful event. I am sharing your joy in the return to AZ of the growing Griffiths family and look forward to sharing diaper duty and margaritas with you!
T- glad to see you found "the" picture. It's funny, just last week I pulled out the sympathy cards and cards I had given dad too. It wasn't actually planned, I was cleaning (yes, I said cleaning) and came across them. I guess it was Dad's way of saying "hey". I know what you mean about "picking the scab". It makes you feel closer, and sometimes less lost.? Dad was so good about making sure we KNEW how pround he was of us. And making sure everyone else knew as well. That was obvious at his "memorial Party" where there were so many people we had barely or never met that knew our every detail in life. Thank you for the beautiful and, I agree, very eloquent memorial to dad. He is SO proud of you and SO, so happy that you found THE man. And he will be there to hold your hand through this journey and to "give you away" though to him, you'll never be gone. We'll ALWAYS be his little girls. I love you so mcuh T. Catch my hug.
Mia
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